Fawk You Friday

Ok assholes Mrs. Bitch has told me to do this so here it goes.  Just want to say fawk you to the idiots in my unit who think I aint hurt.  A fawk you to all my old friends who have dropped off the face of the earth.  Fawk you to my daughters mom who still wont let me see her after 3 years.  And a big ol fawk you to ESPN and ABC who did not have the X-Games on in English.  Oh hell ya they had it on deportes and depotes HD but none that speak English how much bull shit is that.  Now if you have read my sea world rant you know how I fell about this topic so you may want to go check that one out.

Bring on the Hot Sauce

Ok guys so if you know me you know that I love my food with a little kick.  Well I also love me some bacon.  So when I found a Bacon Hot Sauce I was like OMG!!!!!   Well needless to say Mrs. Bitch  was a little iffy about trying it, but that ain't never stopped me before.  So as soon as the Bacon Hot Sauce got in the house I cracked it open and gave it a taste.   Let me just start by saying that this shit had some great flavors.  It starts out with a real calm  bacon flavor with just the right amount of smokiness.  And then out of no where 

 

That is the only way I can describe what happened in my mouth.  It felt like it was in an old super hero movie and I had just got punched in the face.  It was one of the greatest tastes I have had in a hot sauce in a long time.  The best part is that it just gives the right flavor to ketchup and to bbq sauce.  Goes well on just about everything I have tried it on.  Lets just say I cant wait to order my next batch.You can order some at http://www.baconhotsauce.com/collections/all

Reponse to last No Shit Story

Ok guys here is what happened after my last No Shit Story which happens to be a No Shit Story in and of itself.  So after getting caught a second time the Lt. ended up getting moved to another unit on another base.  I wish I could have been so lucky.  I end up having to PAINT ROCKS with a water colors paintbrush. The rocks that I had to paint had to fill up a 10X10 area.  I was told the rocks had to painted one side white and one side red and had to be placed in a shield pattern half white half red.  So I get all done, after about a week, AND NO SHIT THERE I WAS, smoking a cigarette and this mother fucker walks up and says half the rocks are sunburned flip em over so the other side can get a tan.  AND NO SHIT THERE I WAS

Another No Shit Story for you

Ok all here is another No Shit story for yall. This story takes place once again, in Korea.   So lets get this going ...  SO NO SHIT THERE I WAS...  hooking up with this LT.  Let me say in my defense she was not in my section but she was in my unit.  Well lets just make this long story short and say NO SHIT THERE I WAS BALLS DEEP IN THIS LT, IN AN APACHE NO LESS, AND MY PLATOON SERGEANT WALKS UP.  He looks right at us shakes his head and walks away.  Well thinking I had dodged a bullet we finish up.  I mean come on now you did not think that would stop me did you.  Well I get back to the office thinking I had gotten away with a big no no, but I ain't a lucky person.  Well I get a firm talking to and a high five but get told I have a no contact order for this Lt.
    I wish I could say that the story ended there but it didn't.  Well I ain't never been the brightest crayon in the box.  Well I end up at her apartment a couple weeks later.  And being the nice guy that I am I make her dinner and after a couple glasses of wine one thing leads to another.  Well I got her bent over her balcony railing just going to town and I look across the way and low and behold there is the Command Sergeant Major just looking at us.  Well we know each other pretty well so he recognizes me right away.  Well to make things worse he is an ordain minister and does not believe in sex before wedlock .  Well at this point I know I am fucked.  So to make a long story short NO SHIT THERE I WAS CAUGHT BALLS DEEP IN THIS LT. NOT ONCE BUT TWICE...

Our trip to Hershey's theme park

Guest post written by Adrianna Cox
When I first heard years ago that there was such thing as a Hershey's theme park, I thought that it sounded like the best thing in the world. Well it's taken us years to actually getting around to going to it, but I thought that it would be good for our family to go there as part of our vacation this summer.
I've been doing a whole lot of research trying to find what to expect once we get there to the park. One night while I was doing that about a week ago, I saw the website http://cleartvbundle.com and after I looked through it some, I decided to sign up for one of the internet packages that I found on there.
I'm so excited to go to this theme park! I'm a huge chocolate fan and I've read online that the park even smells like chocolate! I think that this will be so great and so much fun to do. Needless to say, I think that I'm really going to enjoy this vacation, or at least the part of it that we're going to spend at Hershey's.

Children

So for those of you who don't know me here is the softer side of me.  Well I have a daughter who lives with her mom in upstate NY who i dont get to see very much.  And the state of NY has ran me in circles but I finally had someone there who is willing to help me and even thanked me for my service they are not all bad.

Korea 2007

Ok so NO SHIT THERE I WAS, February 2007 still stuck in Korea but fixing to come home soon.  Well me and a couple guys head out to the Ville, which if you don't know it is the area right outside of post, to have a wild night of drinks.  Well we start heading back into post around 2330, which is 1130 at night for all you civies, since curfew to get back on post is midnight.  Well needless to say we are all severely drunk and I have no clue how the hell we made it back onto post.  But once we get on post its time to wait for the bus, well after drinking all night I had to pee.  So I do what any man would, go and find a building to piss on.  Well I never said I was the brightest and well I end up pissing on the MP station wall.  For those of you who don't know the MP's are the Military Police.  Well this is a bad idea and if I get caught then I am fucked and spending the night in that very same building.  Well as I am standing there to cut it short the back door OPENS.  Now about this time I am gonna pause for the effect again...

Well I am thinking worst case scenario it is gonna be an mp who is just gonna crack my head in. But damn did I get lucky it is only my commander and First Sargent, now some would say how the hell is that better.  Now if you asked that question you ain't never been to korea.  Well I guess they were picking up one of our guys who had been caught taking a piss on the mp station wall.  Well after a nice little chew out session they take me back to the barracks which is great cause I missed the damn bus and it is a 3 mile walk.  Well you must be asking by now where the No shit there I was part is, well lets just say there is more to this night I wish I could say that it ended there but oh no the night was just getting started.

Well I get back to the barracks and my roommate Frenchy is in the room with we will call him Karl.  Now these 2 are both so drunk it was like trying to carry on a conversation with Boomhower from king of the hill.  Well the first thing I can decipher is that Karl got a new Dale Jr. jacket.  SO being drunk I decide fuck this I am going to bed.  Well I look over and my bed is made perfectly, which I did not do.  So I am thinking to myself what did these 2 drunk fucks do now.  So i go to pull back the bedding and what do I find.  MY BED IS FULL OF SHAVING CREAM. Fuck me running I go off on these 2 and what do they say to me, "well it was a good idea at the time." And to make things worse they used all MY shaving cream.  And NO SHIT THERE I WAS, STANDING OVER A BED FULL OF SHAVING DEBATING HOW MANY YEARS I WOULD GET FOR KILLING THESE 2. AND NO SHIT THERE I WAS