Ok so NO SHIT THERE I WAS, February 2007 still stuck in Korea but fixing to come home soon. Well me and a couple guys head out to the Ville, which if you don't know it is the area right outside of post, to have a wild night of drinks. Well we start heading back into post around 2330, which is 1130 at night for all you civies, since curfew to get back on post is midnight. Well needless to say we are all severely drunk and I have no clue how the hell we made it back onto post. But once we get on post its time to wait for the bus, well after drinking all night I had to pee. So I do what any man would, go and find a building to piss on. Well I never said I was the brightest and well I end up pissing on the MP station wall. For those of you who don't know the MP's are the Military Police. Well this is a bad idea and if I get caught then I am fucked and spending the night in that very same building. Well as I am standing there to cut it short the back door OPENS. Now about this time I am gonna pause for the effect again...
Well I am thinking worst case scenario it is gonna be an mp who is just gonna crack my head in. But damn did I get lucky it is only my commander and First Sargent, now some would say how the hell is that better. Now if you asked that question you ain't never been to korea. Well I guess they were picking up one of our guys who had been caught taking a piss on the mp station wall. Well after a nice little chew out session they take me back to the barracks which is great cause I missed the damn bus and it is a 3 mile walk. Well you must be asking by now where the No shit there I was part is, well lets just say there is more to this night I wish I could say that it ended there but oh no the night was just getting started.
Well I get back to the barracks and my roommate Frenchy is in the room with we will call him Karl. Now these 2 are both so drunk it was like trying to carry on a conversation with Boomhower from king of the hill. Well the first thing I can decipher is that Karl got a new Dale Jr. jacket. SO being drunk I decide fuck this I am going to bed. Well I look over and my bed is made perfectly, which I did not do. So I am thinking to myself what did these 2 drunk fucks do now. So i go to pull back the bedding and what do I find. MY BED IS FULL OF SHAVING CREAM. Fuck me running I go off on these 2 and what do they say to me, "well it was a good idea at the time." And to make things worse they used all MY shaving cream. And NO SHIT THERE I WAS, STANDING OVER A BED FULL OF SHAVING DEBATING HOW MANY YEARS I WOULD GET FOR KILLING THESE 2. AND NO SHIT THERE I WAS
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